Chapter: Miss Vintage

The mistress dressed in vintage, kept him hooked-each time was different.

Her figure blinded his eyes, but fit so well; double 20 vision.

So his mind escaped with time and left the one that he was with quick.

Called her on the side, whispered "Love, can we speak for a minute?"

So he went on "Baby your curves are like lightning, I think I need a medic, your words are so enticing,"

His conscience whispered to his mind "Maybe I should end it?"

but his actions repeated time after time, a habit he perfected.

Lustful dreams invaded his core; confused he reckoned "but what about my amor?"

Clueless and naive to the intuitive scenes she would dream, she brushed them aside concluding "no, he's with me."

He loved her, that was not even a question; but his confusion made him lose it, always feeling tempted.

playing in his mind "I've been thinking bout, I've been thinking bout, I've been thinking bout you lately. Thoughts take me to when we were close; addicted to this (lust) feel I need another dose."

So he indulged, never been the same ever since.

An addict leaving the habit reacts so weird when he has to rehab it'

He stopped, but what happens when he sees the poison?

"This girl is cocaine to the brain,"

tempted he's on the verge of going "Cobain"

But he caught himself and saw what he was doing;

feeding his soul; he killed his half with his pursuings'

He figured love is of the essence, lust is temporary presence,

Miss Vintage is always gone, so an encounter is a refreshment;

But amor is the air with the occasional breeze,

taken for granted but it's all he really needs.

So he came back from his walk, to the picnic on the moon,

The embrace of his amor saying "I knew you'd be back soon."

And he felt; this is too special to lose.

Chapter: Balistic Tunes

Keep track of Balistic on his blog as he creates an awesome mixtape with a plethora of artists.

Tune in here.

Chapter: Why

Nothing in this world is ever fair, but what's the reason for that? What is the reason for good genuine souls to get mistreated for only wishing well upon others. For only caring for others. Where is the balance in this world? Lost in an ocean of meretricious digression. Besotted by a life of glamour, freedom, and all the material superficial things you can ask for? But where does that get you? Success? What is success if when you sit down at home, ready for bed, and as you think of your life you begin to notice an overwhelming feeling of a void in it. What is this void? The things that annoyed you in your past, simply saw as a nuisance, and tossed to the side in your pursuit of an easy "successful" life. The feelings that were too complicated for you to deal with so you abandoned them. The feelings that confused you with their authenticity that you preferred to not deal with such purity because you knew the things you did were not worthy of it.

But why cast that cold shoulder to the person caring? You are hurting them and hurting yourself. This person only cares and loves you. Loves you. And by doing this, you showed them they shouldn't love you because you don't appreciate it or recognize it in their actions. You're confusing them and pushing them away. And if you do it just enough, you give them that last push they need, you have just created a void that will accompany you for the rest of your life. That person might stay, might go, but you will always wonder why you feel a certain way when you think about your life.

Years from now you'll ask yourself what's missing. You've got all you could possibly ask for. Keep in mind though, you create your own destiny, so don't be careless.

Chapter: Should I?

Lost part of my sanity. The cost of expression puts you in a vulnerable state. I know what I want to do, but I can not. The consequences are not worth it. I must say though, the pleasure and satisfaction I would receive from it definitely makes me contemplate my steps.

Chapter: Aids Antidote?

(I know antidote is probably not the correct word to use, but hey, it's catchy, it's an alliteration, and now it's the title of this post.)

So, I just read there is a doctor in Germany that claims a man who was HIV-positive may have been cured with a stem-cell transplant. The miracle patient's name is Timothy Ray Brown, who was also suffering from Leukemia three years ago, when he received a stem-cell transplant from a donor carrying a rare, inherited gene mutation that seems to make carriers virtually immune to HIV infection. So in simpler terms, this donor was like an X-men or something, and HIV/AIDS can't harm a hair on his body. Yeah, something like that.

The transplant said to have wiped out both diseases, so said Dr. Anthony Fauci, director of the National Institutes of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, who has been studying HIV/AIDS for almost 30 years. So if this is true, this is kind of like the day he's been waiting for his entire career-life-existence, (also for the 33 million people worldwide living with HIV/AIDS, can't forget them).

Before you get too excited, that is if you are, which you should be because this is considerably the most groundbreaking thing to happen in the medical world since I don't know when (...to my knowledge), we must analyze the details. The rarity of something like this happening is pretty colossal. First off, “It’s hard enough to get a good compatible match for a transplant like this,” said Dr. Fauci to Foxnews.com, “But you also have to find compatible donor that has this genetic defect, and this defect is only found in 1 percent of the Caucasian population and zero percent of the black population. This is very rare.”

Womp.

So not every patient can be treated with this.Well, I guess we can shoot that horse in the face. And now comes the marathon of blah-news, the wompfest. Dr. Fauci said this isn't "prime time" for him at all because it's such a rare situation that doesn't have practical application. Meaning, it's like a miracle, chances of being duplicated are slim to none. Also, Dr. Fauci mentioned that it's not as pretty as it sounds. The transplant is pretty expensive and tremendously painful and complicated, and the patient would have to start a whole new platoon of drugs.

Again, this patients cure was kind of an accident/surprise. He was originally getting the bone marrow transplant for his leukemia, and the HIV cure kind of came like extra fries in the order.

Soooo, although this opens many doors for new HIV treatments and possible remedies, there is still a somewhat long way to go.

But let's not get too upset, one patient was cured, so hoorah!

Chapter: Lust

Lust; such a sinful temptation. Blinds the eyes of those who love and causes great harm to those they love. Remember, love over lust. "You're human which means you'll be tempted, but never choose the one you lust over the one you love."

Chapter: Idk

Creative chapter title huh? I know.

I have never minded someone looking up to me, or liking things I do or the way I am. I'm not praising myself, don't get ahead of me, but what does bother me, is someone becoming just like me, slowing changing themselves, and each adjustment is closer to the kind of person I am. I'm not trying to be a creep, (excuse me if what I'm about to say is total creep material) but I analyzed this person and how they truly are, and what they are becoming is pretty hypocritical. Saying one thing, and doing the other. Liking things I like, beginning to do things I do. I know people are going to be like me, or have similarities with me in my future, I get that, but this person, it's just bothering me. You may be thinking, "Well Marlene, why don't you just get to know the person? Maybe you'd be great friends." EEeerrrghh! (Car screeching to a halt) Truth be told, I am not very fond of this person and their actions. I know no one will ever be me, vice versa, no matter how hard we may try, we will always be our own person. Maybe I just don't like this person and I'm bothered that they have similar interests as me? Or maybe this goes even deeper? I don't know. This post was kind of personal, but still vague. I like being ambiguous. It's like I'm being personal, but I'm not. Ha.
Any who, I will conclude this random post with a quote.

"You were born an original, so don't die a copy."

(anonymous)

Forgot who said it, but props to him/her.

Chapter: Sir Ken Again

Chapter: Talk To Me

You know what I miss? I miss talking to someone in person, and actually engaging in conversation stimulated by any thought that travels through our minds. I miss late night phone conversations about anything, that always broke night. I miss the undivided attention. Speaking through a social network or an instant-messaging system is just not as fulfilling. The physical presence of someone can not be duplicated, well at least the feeling it conveys. I'm not trying to whine or anything, but I feel like technology has kind of gotten in the way of things. People are so distracted nowadays, and it's nothing bad, I love reading articles about anything new and exciting or interesting, but I feel like the inquisitiveness of getting to know someone has dwindled. The eye contact, that look as if trying to reach your soul. Perhaps when you're in constant communication with someone it turns into routine rather than a genuine yearning to speak to them. Or maybe you just know them already? I don't know, I guess I'm just nostalgic.

Chapter: Recycled Thoughts

I'm sitting here waiting for my dad to drive me back to school. Sitting here I realize I think about the wrong things too much, not necessarily wrong, but redundant. I recycle my thoughts Ooo and it's wearing my mind out. What happened to exploring and wondering about other cool things. I recently learned that what we know can limit what we imagine. True isn't it? I know too many facts and it's stifling my creativity. My recent art is only secreted emotions onto a canvas. What happened to new ideas or crazy thoughts. I don't know, I just know what I need to stop thinking about, it's engulfing my mind.