When the fear of a threat inhibits you from saying what you may feel, it's not right. If what you do is seen as wrong and detrimental to the other, although it makes sense to you, its not right. If they're so quick to mention it, that means you've always been an option. But in reality isn't that what we are? What keeps you with that person, what is holding you to them? It seems so scary to change what has been in your life for so long, but I guess thats what happens when clashing is routine. Its almost like I can't write. I can't say what I really feel. Theres a lack of understanding in the connection there is or was if what I do makes you change your mind so quickly. I don't think we ever do things to intentionally harm the other, we are just ourselves. The person we are. You do things that seems fitting to you, and I ask. It's not my intention to destroy everything. It's my intention to understand so I can leave it alone. But I guess I'm also guilty of not listening. So the matter lies in the air.
I don't like threats, the yelling and the shunning. But I get it. Messaged received.
Showing posts with label chronic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chronic. Show all posts
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Chapter: Traced on My Palm
Perhaps I'm scarred with all the twisted attempts towards your happiness I made when you shattered mine.
Perhaps I'm not aware that your actions, affected mine permanently time after time.
Perhaps I've grown cold, so cold that it feels warm.
Like I'm standing in a hurricane completely unaware of the storm.
Perhaps this is temporary, a phase I'll pass through soon,
But maybe it's necessary, since you barely remember the picnic on the moon.
You say so many things, the truth stings so why does this tickle?
Perhaps it makes me laugh that you really think my feelings are fickle.
What is it that you expect from me? To be a stone, a boulder you won't move?
To be still at your words and actions, to just stand by and approve?
This is news.
Perhaps we can't communicate,
Perhaps we don't understand.
Or is it I just miss the words you wrote once on the palm of my hand?
Perhaps I'm not aware that your actions, affected mine permanently time after time.
Perhaps I've grown cold, so cold that it feels warm.
Like I'm standing in a hurricane completely unaware of the storm.
Perhaps this is temporary, a phase I'll pass through soon,
But maybe it's necessary, since you barely remember the picnic on the moon.
You say so many things, the truth stings so why does this tickle?
Perhaps it makes me laugh that you really think my feelings are fickle.
What is it that you expect from me? To be a stone, a boulder you won't move?
To be still at your words and actions, to just stand by and approve?
This is news.
Perhaps we can't communicate,
Perhaps we don't understand.
Or is it I just miss the words you wrote once on the palm of my hand?
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Chapter: Chronic
It's a battle no one sees or feels, but me. Feels like it only getting worse. Been with it for ten years, I'm sure I can endure the rest of my life.
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