Chapter: I'm Too Frustrated to Name This Post

I don't have many issues, if any. Those I do have are generally kept under control. Still, I manage to feel like utter worthless crap somedays strictly out of the blue. Maybe it's not so random seeing as I've educated myself enough to know that any kind of happiness or pleasure is from an over casted plague of complacency we are all victims to. Sounds rough, but is there really any other way to put it? What's the point of sugar coating anything nowadays? It's as if we are asking to be kept under this veil of ignorance. Sure, ignorance is bliss, without any doubt, but is it a blissful feeling realizing we are all mindless drones being pushed through some sort of system under the illusion of free will? It's unsettling when we fully comprehend it. Why is it so hard to succeed? Better yet, why is it so much easier to sit down and watch a movie, rather than focus that attention towards something I don't know productive, fulfilling. I could go on to mention my disdain towards people after reading several posts on Facebook and twitter, but then I would have to call myself a hypocrite. I find myself stuck deep inside some funk that has got me tied down by every hair on my body. Or at least it feels that way. I feel lazy and distracted to do what I love. I step outside of my body and try to witness myself from a different perspective, and I think that is what has me in this bitter mood. I'm under a content facade that living like this is ok. But when I go to correct myself, the most random weight sits itself on my body and it's as if I am physically incapable to do something. At all. So I lay on my bed falling right back into a hole of expediency.

So here I am. Typing and still not doing. I could say a lot more, but I won't.

Chapter: Subject to Failure

Everything is this country is marred with fiscal issues. We are brainwashed with the amount of stuff we have and the more we want it. We're used to buying and owning, continually raising the bar.

Is it me or does money seem to thwart dreams and ambitions, and make people full of potential settle for the stability of a bi-weekly paycheck? Selling their time to businesses and corporations instead developing their minds, abilities and talents. NewsWeek did a recent study on the top 13 most useless majors and of course Fine Arts was listed as number one. Big Surprise. They based it off of unemployment rates, earnings and projected growth within the next decade. Realistically, in this day and age those things are "needed" in order to "succeed". That's where the mind boggling happens for me. How is it we've evolved into a nation that relies on it's monetary system to determine stature and success? It isn't even the nation's monetary system, it's the Federal Reserve's, (but that's another issue.. I won't go all political science-y on you.)
Now let's return to the "useless majors". Art critic Blake Gopnik responded to the list with

After all, who’s more important today, Rembrandt or the people who bought his art? Monet or the people who bought his? Van Gogh or the rich idiots who FAILED to buy what he made? Useless is as useless does, I say, and it seems pretty clear to me that, across history, many of the people who made the biggest difference had training in the most useless professions. (Aristotle, anyone?) 

I think it's safe to say most of us can agree with that comment. Or at least I'd hope so. If we didn't have people studying philosophy, where would these new thoughts and theories come from, and what about? Drama and theatre arts or film, video and photographic arts? Really? What movies would we be watching or what shows would make us laugh? (I understand you don't need to major in these areas, but let's think of it as simply it being your passion.) And finally the one that really hit home, fine arts. Anyone who decides to major in art is obviously taking a risk. Personally, every time I tell someone what I study at school I get the casual fake smile that really says "God be with you". To get that all the time is kind of discouraging, but then to read it's the #1 most useless major was just offensive. 

(It was discouraging too, I was depressed for about 2-3 days, but I'm over it.) What Gopnik says is true, if we don't have people studying all these different fields, we'll lose the diversity this nation is known for and we'll all be a bunch of mindless drones running through the system. I don't understand how people don't see it, but the world will MOST DEFINITELY not be a better place when people have more money. We all fall into that trap. "If only I had more money, then I could do..." yada yada yada. Truth is, we need to want less and value what's important more. 

What is happening is like a mind-blowing interrelated domino effect. Personally, I believe it begins the second we are afraid to fail. What was the list based on? Unemployment rates, earnings and projected growth. All the things we somehow believe calculate our chances of succeeding. If we don't achieve a stable job with a solid income, we are failures. Edwin Land once said, "An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail." If we get this stability, we won't want to risk it for the fear of failing and losing what we have. If we do not push ourselves to take risks, our creativity dies. This thought has been embedded in us since school. Schools are constantly killing creativity and limiting their students. The curriculums are biased, the teachers are not great, and the teachers that are great aren't rewarded. Not enough focus is placed on public education. The one of single most important things! Educating the youth! But I digress. In high school we are told to be doctors, be lawyers, be whatever brings home the bread. But why? So we have a surplus of bread? Doesn't bread expire? At some point it'll be useless, no? That's my thought progress at least.

We'd all have cancer if it weren't for doctors.

I understand there are people who are truly passionate and talented at what they do. Doctors, lawyers, engineers, nurses, computer scientists and business people. My only issue is placing the importance solely on those who make the most money. A perfect example of this, (in no way am I comparing them to doctors and such) are reality TV stars. What is it exactly that they do? Entertain sure, but what else? What do they contribute to the positive progress of the world? You tell me.

But anyways, I wrote this because I was frustrated with money. Not being able to get a job, which doesn't help me get a studio space, or materials, or a car to get to a job. I just feel like it's creeping up on me and impeding my progress. I'll find a loophole, eventually. I hope. But in the end, "the grass is greener where you water it."

Chapter: Problems at Vespo Hotel

She says the hospitality is great,
And the room service is inexplicable,
But has her destiny tampered with her fate?
Is her happiness not permissible?...