Chapter: Charcoal X Hogwarts

Richard Harris Drawing 11x17

By Marlene Marmolejos (me)

Chapter: Breathe

Edward Shapre & The Magnetic Zeros - Home

Peter Bjorn and John - Young Folks

Chapter: Travelocity

No shine, no touch, no affection.

When’s the last time your thoughts traveled in my direction, and took another step to inquire. To see behind the light that’s produced from this fire. Can’t remember huh? Whereas I visit you as soon as I open my eyes and close them to sleep, along with all the time that lies inbetween. When I speak about issues stressing me, why must you be harsh, to “strengthen me”. The obvious remedy that I seek from thee is a hug, simple act of affection, but instead I get an attitude annoyed by so much, not looking to give me that attention. What is going on? Communication is supposed to keep it strong, but talking is a nuisance now. I want to make things better, but every move is a detonator, so how? What is going on?

Chapter: Bottled Hurricane

Calloused.

I feel like crying, but the heat of my anger evaporates my tears before they even are.

Silent.

I feel like screaming, but the lump in my throat creates a dam only allowing quiet sighs to seep through.

Confused.

I feel like sunny days mean rain, and when it rains I feel the storm travel through my veins to my heart and pumped to my body expelling an energy strong enough to create natural disasters.

But this,

This isn't natural. Or is it natural to have reoccurring images flashing through your mind followed my sullen feelings casting darkness over any source of light you once had? To have any trace of logic you once possessed smeared with emotional digression? One plus one equals heartbreak.

And finally,

I'm afraid. I'm afraid that one single glance will fuel enough power to stimulate a spark. So I let the tsunami roar and kill all electricity. I just wish it would take the poison in my subconscious away with it.

Till then, I'm left swaying. Our galactic alignment is both mysterious and beautiful. Once in a lifetime.

Chapter: Big Butt and A Smile

I've noticed something lately. A lot of people tend to be attracted to other people not for the person they are, but rather a collection of their parts. I know it sounds wordy, but hear me out. How many guys do you know love a big "ass"? Or a full rack? Thick thighs? Brunettes? Redheads? Long legs? How many of you love a nice six pack? Muscles? Cute faces? I personally feel like it falls heavier for guys. Too many times have I heard guys say things like "I love big asses," or "I love girls who cook," I have nothing against their interests, but they affect women by saying such things. Some girls, if not the majority, then begin to adjust themselves in order to appear attractive, but they work in parts.

Guys say they like like big butts, so some girls want to have big butts. Some guys like big breasts, so some women get breast enhancements. There are guys that like a girl simply for her bodily assets. For example, Amber Rose. She's known for her buzz cut head, big ass and breasts (and of course for dating Kanye West, but that's irrelevant). Guys find her attractive because they like her figure, mostly her ass. As well as Kim Kardashian, guys love her butt. The fact that they often blatantly point out what they like makes women sometimes see themselves differently. They begin asserting themselves in portions. They say things like, "I love my legs, but I hate my butt."

See me? They develop a fragmented sense of self that divides the person they are. They become obsessed with perfecting parts of their bodies and forget what these parts create collectively. Don't run just because it makes your legs look better, run because it's good exercise. If you want to work on parts of your body sure, but don't let it make you forget about your entirety.

It just kind of sort of irks me when I hear people say things like "I love tits and asses." Ok? So does that mean you'd want to date that and forget everything else it's attached to?

We have all done it at least once. Whenever we're asked what do you like in the opposite sex or in a partner. "Tall, dark and handsome", "Smart, fit and funny", "Shorter than me, nice body and can cook". We point out things we're attracted to or that we'd like. It's obvious we won't find the "perfect" one, but it's even more obvious that there is no such thing. Like someone for who they are as a whole, not just their body or their sense of humor, but the person they are. Cliché, I don't care.

I hope you could all catch on to the fact that I mean this in a mental perspective/ figurative manner. It was probably redundant to say any of this because it most likely won't change anything, but oh well. It's a blog.

Chapter: BlindSight

I got blindsided trying to be more open minded,

Listening to your words I again became misguided,

I looked into your eyes, and thought I saw what I wanted to see,

Truth, desire, want and overall sincerity,

but instead it was the one I hate, unwelcome deceit.

Chapter: Resentment

Forget what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. If it doesn’t kill you it leaves you crippled, incapable of functioning the way you once did. My mind is a mess, it’s like it’s infected with something. Critters crawling around in my brain, I itch at the sight of your face, and violently react to the sound of your voice. The anger that has consumed me serves as my muse. I create pieces simply because they allow me to bring to life that which I cannot do in reality. Connect the dots. Do you thrive on the deceit you feed to my soul? Do you prosper with my anguish, is this some sort of masochism? I can’t stand people telling me what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. No, what doesn’t kill you leaves you for dead.

Chapter: Off Future

One thing that really gets me annoyed is potential gone to pure waste. It pains me to see people and places that I love become obsolete and useless. I'm all for change, but let it be productive and positive for yourself and the environment. We all possess personal freedom, but know what you are choosing and what you are deciding to support. What is this with our youth chanting "Kill them all!" Really?

I was recently introduced to OFWGKTA (Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All). Basically a bunch of rapper dudes between ages 16-21 who don't care about anything and rap and stuff. They have variety, but I'm being vague. But yeah, cool, good for them. I listened to them for a few days, mostly because I was angry, but when I began to cool down and had the lyrics rolling off of my tongue, I noticed what I was saying.

Tell your b*tch stop complaining bout her achey tits
A body is a temple - I don't give a f*ck; I'm atheist

-__-, inspiring. I'm all for religious freedom and people have the right to believe whatever they wish to believe, but c'mon. This is what hip hop is coming to? This group is different, that's obvious, but is what they're bringing to the table something we should be praising? Their content usually has to do with rape, "f*cking white b*tches", mutilation, murder, or life generally. Not forgetting homophobia, misogyny, and just extreme violence.
They're different, people like different, but why would a young girl be so enthused by a guy saying..

Moving on to a Jessica, planning to make a mess of herAfter a couple drinks and a session of anal sex with herLike "Hey there, intestines, my cock is erect, next to ya"We the sh*t like what you make, them n*ggas still ain't fresh as us.

No offense to the group, but after those few days, I felt like my IQ dropped a few points, and I was offending myself. But that's just me.

So back to my point. I feel like some of the people I know are growing up and changing, but in my eyes, instead of progressing they're degenerating. Supporting music that in no way represents what they claim to "love" (i.e. soul), and just completely contradict themselves. I'm all for spontaneity, but not when it's running around saying you want to kill people and "burning rubber and f*cking beasts with a burnt d*ck". You're still in high school, probably can't completely fathom what it is you're listening to, and so you categorize it as "swag". Because raping and killing people is attractive and respectable. (I know it's all hypothetical and in theory, but really?) Calm down. These dudes were even afraid of their mom listening to what they were creating. Seriously, see for yourself.

Odd Future's Tyler, The Creator says:

"If you go to any other rapper's show, they just stand there and rap. Rap is really just too conventional. Everybody does the same thing. No one ever pushes the box. And then when you get people pushing the line too far, people are like, 'What the f--- is this?' And then it's like ... 'This is tight, it's new.' We're doing something that no one has ever done before."

I love new music. I respect this group's outlandish approach, but I don't like that it's adding corruption to an already messed up youth.

I'll leave you with some wise words..

"Yo I’m seventeen, already sniffin’ blow. I tell my friends its asthmary time I itch my throat, I got a new show for MTV, Pimp My Boat."

Odd Future, indeed.

Remember, just my opinion.

Chapter: Broken

It hurts when you try so hard to make something better and in return you get the one thing you dreaded. It hurts so much I'm speechless. Feels like an out of body experience, but yet I feel like I was clubbed to death. The effort I put in to make you happy was pointless; you were already somewhere else…again. I feel lost, and I think you're perfectly fine.

Chapter: Selah Sue (Beast)