Chapter: Now Because of Then

The pain chases me as I finalize my decision, even though it’s already been keeping me company. Scared to jump again I recoil into my shell. Bruised and aching from the last time I fell. Haunted by the nightmares, yearning a peaceful dream. I have all of it stored, bursting at the seams, but what do I do? I want, but I don’t want to want. I need, but I don’t want to need. I love, but I don’t want to love. The past lies in the past, but creeps into my present. Even if it’s not happening, despite its irrelevance. The statement makes it simple, but the action leaves me crippled. Kept away, far way, where no wave can come from a ripple. But what are you left with in the end? A friend?..