Chapter: I'm Too Frustrated to Name This Post

I don't have many issues, if any. Those I do have are generally kept under control. Still, I manage to feel like utter worthless crap somedays strictly out of the blue. Maybe it's not so random seeing as I've educated myself enough to know that any kind of happiness or pleasure is from an over casted plague of complacency we are all victims to. Sounds rough, but is there really any other way to put it? What's the point of sugar coating anything nowadays? It's as if we are asking to be kept under this veil of ignorance. Sure, ignorance is bliss, without any doubt, but is it a blissful feeling realizing we are all mindless drones being pushed through some sort of system under the illusion of free will? It's unsettling when we fully comprehend it. Why is it so hard to succeed? Better yet, why is it so much easier to sit down and watch a movie, rather than focus that attention towards something I don't know productive, fulfilling. I could go on to mention my disdain towards people after reading several posts on Facebook and twitter, but then I would have to call myself a hypocrite. I find myself stuck deep inside some funk that has got me tied down by every hair on my body. Or at least it feels that way. I feel lazy and distracted to do what I love. I step outside of my body and try to witness myself from a different perspective, and I think that is what has me in this bitter mood. I'm under a content facade that living like this is ok. But when I go to correct myself, the most random weight sits itself on my body and it's as if I am physically incapable to do something. At all. So I lay on my bed falling right back into a hole of expediency.

So here I am. Typing and still not doing. I could say a lot more, but I won't.

Chapter: Idk

Creative chapter title huh? I know.

I have never minded someone looking up to me, or liking things I do or the way I am. I'm not praising myself, don't get ahead of me, but what does bother me, is someone becoming just like me, slowing changing themselves, and each adjustment is closer to the kind of person I am. I'm not trying to be a creep, (excuse me if what I'm about to say is total creep material) but I analyzed this person and how they truly are, and what they are becoming is pretty hypocritical. Saying one thing, and doing the other. Liking things I like, beginning to do things I do. I know people are going to be like me, or have similarities with me in my future, I get that, but this person, it's just bothering me. You may be thinking, "Well Marlene, why don't you just get to know the person? Maybe you'd be great friends." EEeerrrghh! (Car screeching to a halt) Truth be told, I am not very fond of this person and their actions. I know no one will ever be me, vice versa, no matter how hard we may try, we will always be our own person. Maybe I just don't like this person and I'm bothered that they have similar interests as me? Or maybe this goes even deeper? I don't know. This post was kind of personal, but still vague. I like being ambiguous. It's like I'm being personal, but I'm not. Ha.
Any who, I will conclude this random post with a quote.

"You were born an original, so don't die a copy."

(anonymous)

Forgot who said it, but props to him/her.

Chapter: No Matter What

Is it possible that when you don't want something to happen, you don't think about it, but it's there like in the middle of your mind, it'll continue to happen? As if someone was playing a game with you and just taunting you. It's like the energy you set out reacts oppositely and what you don't want to happen, happens. Repeatedly.

Even when you completely erase it from your mind, it happens. Sigh. It just fires me up, and get's me ready to do something detrimental, but what am I going to do? Stare with a grimace. Woah.

I guess there are things that are out of our hands and our control. They're going to happen regardless of what we want unfortunately. As much as we fight, as much as we budge and as much as we passionately wish it wouldn't happen…it does, or will soon enough.

Bummer -_-